19 Nocturne Boulevard - A STITCH IN TIME - Reissue of the week

06/17/22 • 33 min

1 Listener

A poor but nerdy taxidermist is hired to mount the trophy of a lifetime.

Cast List Debra Meeks - Emmatrice Devan Curt - Cole Hornaday Dougie - George Dunn Da Boss - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Olsen - Femnomena Zalmoxis - Danar Hoverson Roderick - Julie Hoverson

Music by Deied Theme music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Julie Hoverson [Taxidermy pics used with permission from Custom Creature Taxidermy Arts]

"What kind of a place is it? Why, it's the street outside a taxidermist's workshop, can't you tell?"

************************************************************************

A STITCH IN TIME

Cast:

Olivia

Debra Meeks, lonely taxidermist

Curt Buchner, low-level thug

Dougie Block, ranking thug

William Buchner, high-level cultist

Mrs. Olsen, next door with cats

Zalmoxis, ancient god

OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's the street outside a taxidermist's workshop, can't you tell?

MUSIC

SOUND INSIDE CAR NOISES (not driving), RAIN

SOUND RADIO TURNS OFF, MUSIC OUT

CURT [sincere] Nice night.

DOUGIE Nice? You like rain?

CURT [eager] Yeah. Course, it's better when there's lightning too.

DOUGIE You wouldn't want to be in the car then - too much metal

CURT [eager] Oh, no, just the opposite - the tires would protect us. Keep us from being grounded.

DOUGIE Right. Whatever.

CURT [musing] Especially wouldn't want to be outside if you had a metal plate in your head.

DOUGIE A what? [half a laugh] How many people do you actually know with a freaking metal plate in their head?

CURT Um... [thinks] six.

DOUGIE Six? you know six freaking people with -- Nah! You're so full of shit your eyes are brown.

CURT Six. Benny the geek, Mr. Jones, my gramps - got his in Okinawa, my uncle Lenny - in Nam, my niece Bevvy--

DOUGIE Your niece? She see action overseas too?

CURT Don't be silly, she's five. Playground accident, but she's doing fine - her dad even shaved his head to match hers so she won't feel so self-conscious til her hair grows back to cover the scar.

DOUGIE So who's number six?

CURT Hmm?

DOUGIE That's five, who's six?

CURT Oh! [chuckles] Me.

DOUGIE Great, runs in the family.

CURT Guess you could say that. I--

DOUGIE Oops. Time to bring in the packages. Don't want to be late - you know the boss.

SOUND GETTING OUT OF THE CAR

DOUGIE "D. Meeks, Taxidermy" Hey - that's funny, "D. Meeks"

CURT Huh?

DOUGIE You know, D. Meeks'll inherit D Earth, and all that. [laughs]

CURT [missed it by a mile] Oh. Um, I guess so.

DOUGIE [Exasperated noise]

MUSIC

DEBRA [very uncomfortable, searching for excuses] Never done anything big - I mean, I did take a prize for mounting a bear, but it was a really really small brown.

WILLIAM ["mob boss"] I don't think you understand my... uh... position, dear lady. I have come to you, not with a request, but a requirement.

DEBRA But why me?

WILLIAM I have seen your work, and know of the prizes you have taken, and believe you are the only one who can do the job I need done with the grace and skill I need it to be done with.

SOUND THUMPING AS SOMETHING BIG AND HEAVY IS DROPPED IN HALL. THEN A TENTATIVE KNOCK AT THE DOOR

WILLIAM [sigh] Both of which are qualities sorely lacking these days. [sigh] Raoul, let them in.

SOUND FOOTSTEPS

DEBRA What exactly do you need stuffed?

WILLIAM We will get to that in a moment, first--

SOUND DOOR OPENS

WILLIAM --Ah, Curt, Dougie, so glad you could join us.

DEBRA [quiet, to herself] That's funny, I once had a cat named Doogie. No, that's wrong - I once stuffed a cat named Doogie.

DOUGIE [fawning] Glad to help, Mr. Williams.

SOUND DOOR CLOSES

WILLIAM The young lady here is Debra Meeks - a true artiste. I believe you have something for her, Dougie?

DEBRA [quiet, to herself] Doogie mouser.

DOUGIE Right here, Mr. Williams.

CURT [Snickers, getting her joke]

SOUND FOOTSTEPS, BRIEFCASE SET ON BENCH, LATCHES SNAP, CASE OPENS

DEBRA Holy crow! Is that--?

WILLIAM Two-hundred, fifty thousand dollars. Which, coincidentally, is just about twice your total debts, what with the failing business and the house and all - rounded up, of course, since no one likes small change...

DEBRA And I just have to do the one job?

WILLIAM Just one. But I must have your absolute assurance and agreement before I can show you the subject in question.

DEBRA [thinking,...

A poor but nerdy taxidermist is hired to mount the trophy of a lifetime.

Cast List Debra Meeks - Emmatrice Devan Curt - Cole Hornaday Dougie - George Dunn Da Boss - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Olsen - Femnomena Zalmoxis - Danar Hoverson Roderick - Julie Hoverson

Music by Deied Theme music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Julie Hoverson [Taxidermy pics used with permission from Custom Creature Taxidermy Arts]

"What kind of a place is it? Why, it's the street outside a taxidermist's workshop, can't you tell?"

************************************************************************

A STITCH IN TIME

Cast:

Olivia

Debra Meeks, lonely taxidermist

Curt Buchner, low-level thug

Dougie Block, ranking thug

William Buchner, high-level cultist

Mrs. Olsen, next door with cats

Zalmoxis, ancient god

OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's the street outside a taxidermist's workshop, can't you tell?

MUSIC

SOUND INSIDE CAR NOISES (not driving), RAIN

SOUND RADIO TURNS OFF, MUSIC OUT

CURT [sincere] Nice night.

DOUGIE Nice? You like rain?

CURT [eager] Yeah. Course, it's better when there's lightning too.

DOUGIE You wouldn't want to be in the car then - too much metal

CURT [eager] Oh, no, just the opposite - the tires would protect us. Keep us from being grounded.

DOUGIE Right. Whatever.

CURT [musing] Especially wouldn't want to be outside if you had a metal plate in your head.

DOUGIE A what? [half a laugh] How many people do you actually know with a freaking metal plate in their head?

CURT Um... [thinks] six.

DOUGIE Six? you know six freaking people with -- Nah! You're so full of shit your eyes are brown.

CURT Six. Benny the geek, Mr. Jones, my gramps - got his in Okinawa, my uncle Lenny - in Nam, my niece Bevvy--

DOUGIE Your niece? She see action overseas too?

CURT Don't be silly, she's five. Playground accident, but she's doing fine - her dad even shaved his head to match hers so she won't feel so self-conscious til her hair grows back to cover the scar.

DOUGIE So who's number six?

CURT Hmm?

DOUGIE That's five, who's six?

CURT Oh! [chuckles] Me.

DOUGIE Great, runs in the family.

CURT Guess you could say that. I--

DOUGIE Oops. Time to bring in the packages. Don't want to be late - you know the boss.

SOUND GETTING OUT OF THE CAR

DOUGIE "D. Meeks, Taxidermy" Hey - that's funny, "D. Meeks"

CURT Huh?

DOUGIE You know, D. Meeks'll inherit D Earth, and all that. [laughs]

CURT [missed it by a mile] Oh. Um, I guess so.

DOUGIE [Exasperated noise]

MUSIC

DEBRA [very uncomfortable, searching for excuses] Never done anything big - I mean, I did take a prize for mounting a bear, but it was a really really small brown.

WILLIAM ["mob boss"] I don't think you understand my... uh... position, dear lady. I have come to you, not with a request, but a requirement.

DEBRA But why me?

WILLIAM I have seen your work, and know of the prizes you have taken, and believe you are the only one who can do the job I need done with the grace and skill I need it to be done with.

SOUND THUMPING AS SOMETHING BIG AND HEAVY IS DROPPED IN HALL. THEN A TENTATIVE KNOCK AT THE DOOR

WILLIAM [sigh] Both of which are qualities sorely lacking these days. [sigh] Raoul, let them in.

SOUND FOOTSTEPS

DEBRA What exactly do you need stuffed?

WILLIAM We will get to that in a moment, first--

SOUND DOOR OPENS

WILLIAM --Ah, Curt, Dougie, so glad you could join us.

DEBRA [quiet, to herself] That's funny, I once had a cat named Doogie. No, that's wrong - I once stuffed a cat named Doogie.

DOUGIE [fawning] Glad to help, Mr. Williams.

SOUND DOOR CLOSES

WILLIAM The young lady here is Debra Meeks - a true artiste. I believe you have something for her, Dougie?

DEBRA [quiet, to herself] Doogie mouser.

DOUGIE Right here, Mr. Williams.

CURT [Snickers, getting her joke]

SOUND FOOTSTEPS, BRIEFCASE SET ON BENCH, LATCHES SNAP, CASE OPENS

DEBRA Holy crow! Is that--?

DEBRA And I just have to do the one job?

WILLIAM Just one. But I must have your absolute assurance and agreement before I can show you the subject in question.

DEBRA [thinking,...

Previous Episode

19 Nocturne Boulevard - AN HOUR TO KILL (Reissue of the Week)

A town with a strange secret, ripe for the picking by three petty criminals. Sounds a bit too easy, doesn't it?

Written and produced by Julie Hoverson

Cast List Claude - Shawn Connor Lenny - Cole Hornaday Charlie - Risa Torres Host - Bob Noble Bank Teller - Beverly Poole Little Girl - Krystal Baker Waitress - Angela Kirby

Music by Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock

"What kind of a place is it? Why it's a cheap fleabag motel, can't you tell?"

********************************************

AN HOUR TO KILL

Cast:

[Opening credits - Olivia]

Claude, a thug

Lenny, a dumber thug

Charlie, Claude's greedy wife

Host

Bank Teller

Little Girl

Waitress

OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a fleabag motel in the early 50s, can't you tell?

MUSIC

SOUND DRIPPING OF BAD SINK, DISTANT RADIO TALKING

LENNY [hushed, excited] I tell you, Claude, it's a done deal! It was Artie told me, and--

CLAUDE [resigned] And Artie's never wrong. Yeah, I know. [up] Whatchoo think, Charlie?

CHARLIE Zip it. I'm listening.

CLAUDE To what?

CHARLIE Whoever's next door has a radio, [barbed] unlike some, and they got the stories on. If youse two mugs can keep yer traps shut, I can just barely make out what happens to be transpiring.

LENNY [quiet] It's just over the hill, Claude. Hop skip and a jump.

CLAUDE [quiet] Good thing, too, Lenny. That car we nabbed ain't good for much but skipping.

LENNY [quiet] And jumping.

CLAUDE [chuckles halfhaertedly] So Artie said this town was ripe for the picking?

LENNY Yeah, he said it was real weird, but--

CHARLIE [upset] No! What is wrong with this world?

CLAUDE [flat, uninterested] I don't know, what's wrong with it?

CHARLIE Them on the other side, they turned it off!! And just when Cynthia was about to reveal the name of the guy who ran off and left her with two kids, then changed hs name and married someone else.

LENNY What a bum!

CLAUDE [undertone] Don't encourage her. [up] Can we talk normal now?

CHARLIE Makes no nevermind now.

CLAUDE Apparently Artie told Lenny something in stir last week.

LENNY And Artie's never wrong!

CHARLIE [hard sarcasm] If he ain't never wrong, why's he in the joint?

CLAUDE [snorts]

LENNY That ain't the point. He found the perfect score.

CHARLIE And he told you about it?

CLAUDE Yeah, that does seem a little cuckoo. Artie never did like you much.

LENNY But he still likes Cherlie there just fine. I think he told me cuz he knows I'd tell you, and that would help her get some of the nice things she deserves.

CHARLIE [cutesy] Really? That big a score, then? Artie might have something going for him after all. Maybe I shoulda married him.

CLAUDE You said you didn't like monkeys.

CHARLIE I was joking. Just cuz he's kinda short and shriveled and stuff don't mean he might not make a good husband. Ugly guys don't run off so often.

LENNY Nobody wants 'em.

CHARLIE You would know.

CLAUDE [long suffering sigh] Let's get back to the job?

LENNY It's this town, see? He says the whole town is like loopy, cuz one day a year, for an hour in the middle of the day, the entire town [slow, with import] just falls asleep.

CLAUDE [snort] You're loopy. Artie's throwing you a knuckle ball, knucklehead.

LENNY No, he was serious - I could see it in his face.

CLAUDE The whole town?

LENNY Yeah!

CLAUDE And how does Artie know this?

LENNY He says he was there. Couple years back, said he was hiding out and saw it happen, so he went back again the next year to see, and it happened again.

CLAUDE Why ain't he in there robbing the place?

LENNY Says he meant to, this year, but he's gonna be sporting stripes for a nickle. [5 years]

CLAUDE It makes no damn sense! Why would everybody fall asleep?

CHARLIE Maybe it's something in the water. Or get this-- [ramping up] Maybe it's a curse or something, like in that episode of One Step Too Far!!

CLAUDE You've gone one step too far if you're gonna believe Artie and this idiot. [to Lenny] Nuttin' personal, Lenny.

LENNY Gotcha.

CHARLIE What can it hurt? If it's so darn close, why don't we drive over there and see? We can be ready, and if this "see-ester" [siesta] thing happens, then we take advantage. If not... what’s it gonna hurt?

CLAUDE What day's it supposed to be, Len?

LENNY Tomorrow. Or I should say the longest day of the year, since that's what it is - tomorrow is, I mean, but Charlie, you ...