TSSH 30 - Heal in Place. Fill your Still. (topic: setting boundaries)

Heal in Place. Fill your Still. Setting boundaries. Most people who have weak personal boundaries had no role models when they were young. Witnessing narcissistic and codependent dynamics that probably goes back generations contributes to us believing that love = what we did, not who we were. Boundaries are like an invisible shield or fence around you. It’s a line you set for yourself and others that separates you from others and their influence. Boundaries are a measure of self-esteem. They limit the ability of toxic people being too comfortable criticizing, controlling and manipulating you and are important mental, emotional, and physical walls that protect us being used and exploited by toxic people. Setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill I had to learn. A main characteristic of narcissists is that they have no regard for personal boundaries. They violate boundaries at will with no thought or concern of how the other person feels. Children of narcissists, like me, bullied and frustrated. On my healing journey I learned about setting boundaries with people, and with my own mother. I gave up trying toxic behaviors driven by the unconscious goal that she will magically transform in to a loving person. I stopped my exhaustive, futile attempts at pleasing her.

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