Your Confident Self

We admire women that never seem to give up. But while we're admiring them it makes us a bit sad because we realize that we give up far too quickly. It’s not something we’re proud of, and we're haunted by the idea of how much more we could have accomplished with just a little more determination.

Most women have no idea why they give up quickly, but this behavior is something you can definitely change. The first step is to gain some insight into why women give up before they succeed.

In this episode I look at 1 big reason and 5 smaller reasons why women give up before they become successful. You can find your reason and create a plan to be successful in spite of it.

Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/072

If you harness the power of saying no you can avoid the problem of over-committing. That's when you make a commitment. Then you make another. Before you know it, you're making yet another commitment. It’s a never-ending cycle.

You overcommit to your job, your friends, colleagues, social causes, family, etc. These commitments add hundreds of hours and stress to your already over-scheduled life.

One of the most important things to remember is that time is finite. No matter how hard you try, you'll never have enough time to do everything. However, once you truly accept that you can't do it all, you can begin to prioritize your time.

Doing this gives more opportunities to do the things that you really want to do, rather than the things that you feel you should do. Spending quality time with family and friends, achieving goals to improve your future, and just having time to yourself are prime examples.

In this episode I look at:

• The benefits of saying no
• How saying no helps you be more successful
• Why women don't say no
• How saying no is easier when you're confident
• How to determine when you should say no
• How to say at work
• Ways to say no everywhere

Saying no won't be easy at first. For some people, it may never be simple, but you have your own health and well-being to consider. The people who care about you will more than likely understand. When dealing with acquaintances, if they don't understand, it's probably better to limit your time with them, if possible.

Remember, saying no does not make you a bad or selfish person. On the contrary, it generally makes you healthier and happier. More importantly, saying no doesn't mean you can't help those who you really want to help. After all, everyone needs help at one time or another. In the words of Tim Ferriss, "What you don't do determines what you can do." It's totally up to you!

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Podcast on setting healthy boundaries

Punch Fear in the Throat Mug

Show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/071

Chelsey Brooke stops by the podcast to tell us about the rise of the powerful introvert. Introverts are often misunderstood and mis-labeled by people who don't understand the personality type. Often people think introverted women are boring or stuck-up because of the way they show up in the world. Those people couldn't be more wrong! Powerful introverts are fabulous and this episode outlines how we can shine in the workplace and increase our confidence.

Chelsey is so passionate about introverts because she is one! So her interest in increasing confidence as an introvert came out of her own difficulties. Introverts often feel awkward and out of place in social situations and have anxiety about small talk or being in large groups. And the advice to "get out of your shell, speak up and stop thinking so much" isn''t helpful and doesn’t work.

In this episode we discussed:

• The strengths of being exactly who you are. Some people can go their whole lives without figuring that out.
• What's wrong with the dictionary definition of an introvert?
• The hurtful labels that people use to describe introverts.
• Was there an event that helped Chelsey figure out she was different and unique?
• The ingredients in a confidence milk shake.
• How to use introversion as an advantage not a weakness.
• How to be a powerful introvert

Show notes can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/070

Today we will look at 10 ways to stop your critics from stealing your dream. I never wanted to be a cop but I do love those shows. I’m fascinated by the techniques they use to prevent crimes. So I’m going to apply some of that investigative wisdom to protecting your dream.

Have you ever gotten excited about doing something, only to be shot down by the people that you thought would support you? It happens all the time.

Maybe you decided you wanted to train for a marathon, only for some super helpful person to reminded you that you’re not athletic and quit the last few things you tried. Or, maybe you wanted to start a business, only to be told that most businesses fail. Then you’re told that you shouldn’t bother, because you don’t have any business experience anyway. These old stories do not serve you.

Life is full of critics. The more you try to accomplish, the more people you’ll have trying to stop you in one way or another.

Try these ideas to Stop Your critics and live your best life:

1. Understand the real reason for their criticism. When you try to be more than you are, it makes the people in your life uncomfortable. They’re used to you being a certain way. It also bothers them that you might become successful while they’re too afraid to change. No one wants to justify their own mediocrity.
2. Avoid reacting. People are only rewarded for trying to hold you back if you quit or if you get upset. Stick to your plan and avoid responding in an emotional way. Just ignore them and keep on going.
3. Consider keeping your big plans to yourself. While many success gurus recommend announcing your grand plans to the world as a means of holding yourself accountable, studies show that this hurts more people than it helps. When you let the world know what you want to accomplish, the critics crawl out of the woodwork.
4. Avoid dwelling on the criticism. There’s no reason to sit around and stew over it. Let it go and put your attention on something that is either useful or enjoyable.
5. Consider the source of criticism. If Stephen King has something to say about your horror novel, you’d be wise to listen. If your Uncle Joe, the plumber, is criticizing your plans for being an architect, why would you listen?
6. Find the right people to “criticize” you. Find the right critics. These are often referred to as “mentors.” Find an expert that’s willing to take a look at what you’re doing and provide useful advice. The right mentor can save you a lot of time and speed up your success.
7. Become even more focused. Use criticism as motivation to focus and work even harder. Show everyone what you can do. Have the last laugh.
8. Find people who truly support you. Most people wish they had more friends. What people really need is just a couple of friends that truly want the best for you. Bette Midler won Emmys, Grammys, Golden Globes, and many other awards. She stated that the hardest part of winning any of her awards was finding someone that was truly happy for her.
9. Cut the critics out of your life if you can. If you have things you want to accomplish, there’s no room for those who are trying to stop you. You might be hesitant to cut your critical mom out of your life, but there’s no reason to hold onto the negative friend that you’ve rarely seen since high school.
10. Change the subject. Get your critic talking about themselves or something going on in their own life. They may soon forget about yours altogether.

If you have big plans for your life, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of critics

Remember that most people choose comfort over growth, but they’re secretly frustrated with themselves because of it. Your choice to live a bigger life is an unpleasant reminder to your critics that they settled. Avoid allowing their issues to derail your dreams.

Follow those dreams and go on to live the life you desire!

Show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/069

Support the show at https://allegrasinclair.com/coffee

Most of us are taught to be people pleasers from a very young age, so the idea that there are any benefits to be achieved if you stop caring if people like you is probably a new one for many of us. The biggest advantage is that it frees you to be your authentic self, shaking off the weight of society's expectations so that you can focus on creating your own unique destiny.

There are actually many advantages to being disliked and unpopular. Here are just a few.

• Being True to Yourself
• Not Bowing to Peer or Parental Pressure
• Setting Your Own Goals
• Achieving Your Dreams
• Being Free from Meaningless Distractions

You can find the full transcript and show notes at https://allegrasinclair.com/078

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