Polyamory History

What every man wishes you knew

By almost. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You don’t see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope ‘em, hog tie ‘em and throw ‘em in the barn...well men ain’t cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there.

Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men aren’t worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you don’t want one like THAT... Well, ladies, I catch them...and if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you aren’t going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me.

Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, it’s not looks or weight, or height or make up, it’s how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, they’re attracted to us. They’ll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? That’s the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. It’s keeping hold of them that’s tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their money’s worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They aren’t about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of “Phew, I”ll never have to do THAT again!” Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times.

Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men aren’t one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, they’re really somewhat simple, they’ll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. That’s really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and they’ll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them.

You’ll hear wives lament and whine that he’s cheating on her, but what you don’t hear is why he is, and it’s not just some younger body, it’s... she’s interesting and the wife isn’t. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and he’s tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, who’d want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant!

Half of that is she berates him, it’s never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, we’d leave, in a second! And do. We’d never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasn’t...You can’t keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you weren’t what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a...