TLP222: How To Find Your Recovery Mode

09/30/20 • 49 min

Rich Diviney lives to discover, inspire, and accelerate the potential of human beings. As a Retired Navy SEAL Commander, he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. He also spearheaded the creation of a directorate that fused physical, mental, and emotional disciplines. In January 2021, Rich will release his first book, The Attributes: 25 Hidden Drivers of Optimal Performance. Rich breaks down how your average teams can become high-performing teams, the mental strategies we can use to overcome stressful situations, and why we need to screen for attributes, not necessarily skill sets. Rich also works with Simon Sinek to help leaders and organizations create environments where people feel valued and free to explore their potential. Key Takeaways [4:25] When RIch was tasked with creating resilience among SEAL Teams, he created the “Mind Gym” concept. [6:00] Rich believed that, through resiliency, you could label and reframe PTSD in a new way. [10:15] One of the ways we can take care of ourselves mentally is to slow down and to let our brains rest. Sleep is the #1 way to recover. [11:05] If you’re stressed out, turn off the news. It’s one of the primary sources of stress because they throw so many unknown variables at you. [14:25] Rich is not always striving for peak performance. Instead, he searches for optimal performance, which he defines as, “How can you do the very best you can in the moment with what you’ve got.” [17:25] Our attributes will tell us how we will perform when things go sideways. The good news is that we can develop our attributes. [21:55] Why does someone want to be in special operations forces? Rich believes that the reason is actually rooted in narcissism. We all want to be the best. We all want to prove we are the best. [24:15] Rich breaks drive down into five attributes: Self-efficacy. Discipline. Open-mindedness. Cunning. Narcissism. [27:15] The smaller the team or the smaller the organization, Rich doesn’t see the same “groupthink” traits as he does in larger organizations. He believes this is due to lack of structure and corporate refinement. [32:10] You are not allowed to designate yourself as a leader. Leadership is a behavior that others are drawn to. People choose to follow a leader. [37:55] It is completely possible to recharge our mental and physical wellbeing during a stressful situation. It can be through meditation, through a quick nap, or even a visualization of what makes you happy. [44:00] In high-performing teams, Leadership roles and responsibilities will change to different people based on their expertise or who might be closer to a situation at the time. Rich has seen that leadership is fluid and people, including leaders, will shift power roles to the one who is most capable given the situation. [44:35] Trust is the key element to any high-functioning and high-performing team. They lean on each other. [45:35] Listener challenge: Break some of the preconceived constraints and boundaries that have been built on your current team. Quotable Quotes “Resiliency doesn’t describe what high performers do. Resiliency by definition is the ability to get knocked off of baseline and get back to baseline.” “One of the ways we can all take care of ourselves mentally is to actively find ways to slow ourselves down and turn off the outside world.” “Things that bring you joy. Any time you engage in an activity that you feel more full after doing, you’re likely in recovery mode.” “What defines optimal performance — can you keep on moving and what are the attributes you bring to the table?” “If teams want to figure out how to manage in uncertainty, they need to look at attributes vs. just skill.” “We are biologically designed to want to stand out. Narcissism in small doses, the desire to be special, can be a very, very powerful driver in performance.” Resources Mentioned Rich’s website & upcoming book: The Leadership Podcast is Sponsored by: Cultivate Grit. Amplify Action. Investing in yourself isn’t selfish. Click to get gritty! Free downloads of on Delegation, Time Management, Sales, and more.

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TLP221: The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations

Kwame Christian, ESQ. is an attorney, meditator, and the author of the best selling book, Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life. His book is an Amazon Best-Seller and has helped countless individuals overcome the fear, anxiety, and emotion often associated with difficult conversations through a branded framework called Compassionate Curiosity. Kwame walks us through how to leverage emotions to effectively bridge the gap between negotiation and conflict. Kwame is also the host of the world’s most popular negotiation podcast, Negotiate Anything. Kwame’s TEDx talk, Finding Confidence in Conflict, was the most popular TEDx Talk on the topic of conflict in 2017, and has been viewed over 150,000 times.Kwame also serves as a negotiation and conflict resolution professor at The Ohio State University’s Moritz College of Law. The Dispute Resolution Program at Moritz is the top ranked dispute resolution program in the country. He is also a professor in Otterbein University’s MBA program. Prior to practicing business law and founding ANI, Kwame worked at the Kirwan Institute doing civil rights work. While at Kirwan, Kwame focused on criminal justice and health equity. Key Takeaways [4:25] When you travel abroad to new and exotic locations, it can really test your negotiation abilities as you haggle for items you want at the market. [8:45] Kwame’s book, Finding Confidence in Conflict, can be used in high-level stressful business negotiations as well as trying to communicate effectively with family. [10:05] Whether we like it or not, we are not thinking machines. We are feeling machines that happen to think. Emotions play a big part in everything we do. [11:25] Most times when people fail at negotiation, it’s because they didn’t address the underlying emotional issues. [14:10] The “natural” human doesn’t want to engage in conflict. [16:20] Conflicts break down because there’s a developed “me vs. you” narrative. [20:55] When addressing conflict or a difference in opinion, it’s important to first recognize the emotions in ourselves as well as the emotions in others. [25:35] Kwame shares his thoughts on diversity and inclusion and what we need to be doing better to bridge the gap. [27:15] Everyone needs time to process their emotions to effectively communicate what they’re feeling. However, men often do feel comfortable saying words like ‘disappointed’ or ‘sad.’ [29:15] Sometimes you need an outside perspective to help you dig deep within yourself in a way that you can’t do by yourself. This can be a trusted friend, coach, or therapist. [29:55] When it comes to the way women negotiate and the literature out there, Kwame recognizes we’re asking women to fend for themselves when we should all be advocating for them. [36:45] You’re not going to be able to overcome your own biases unless you have a bit of self-awareness, and take the time to create solutions for them. [43:25] Listener challenge: Use the Compassionate Curiosity Framework: Acknowledging and Validating Emotions. Getting Curious with Compassion. Engaging in Joint Problem Solving. Quotable Quotes “The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations.” “Our emotions are going to get the first shot of interpretation of anything.” “We’re working against our psychology when we just say, ‘I’m going to pretend I don’t have any emotions.’” “You can’t overcome a problem if you don’t know there’s a problem.” “Strengthen the foundation of your business by ensuring all employees feel heard, supported, and honored.” Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast is Sponsored by: Cultivate Grit. Amplify Action. Investing in yourself isn’t selfish. Click to get gritty! Free downloads of on Delegation, Time Management, Sales, and more.

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TLP223: YOU CAN Change Culture

Siobhan McHale led a radical seven-year culture change project that transformed her organization from the lowest-performing bank in Australia to one of the highest-performing and most globally admired banks in the world. This gave Siobhan an insider role and a different perspective on culture change, which led to her book, The Insider’s Guide to Culture Change. Siobhan provides an overview of how to best measure change, what to do if you feel powerless in an organization, and how to be an effective catalyst to improve culture. Key Takeaways [3:00] Siobhan noticed that a lot of organizational change and literature was written from an outsider’s perspective. She wanted to write a book on how to make a change from within. [4:10] Culture is often framed for employee experience, but culture is much more than that. It’s about impact. [5:30] Middle management feels powerless about creating lasting change within an organization, but change can happen at all levels. [7:30] Siobhan shares cultural differences between how leadership is led in North America vs. Australia. [13:40] People are running low on energy, and passion projects can be great ways to revitalize yourself. However, we first need to define ourselves and the various roles we have in our life. [18:30] Siobhan was led down this path of culture when she was fired by an organization for going “too fast.” [21:30] Change is not someone else’s responsibility, it’s yours. Instead of empowering your employees to “change,” it’s about framing it around a goal and bringing accountability to everyone involved. [25:15] It goes back to: People help support what they create. [29:00] You can measure change by defining key metrics early in the beginning. For example, you can measure employee engagement, customer satisfaction, financials, and sustainability.[31:10] We all have a mental map of our roles, but it’s time we update that. You don’t want to operate just on a functional basis, you want to keep modifying and improving the culture so that it's healthy, vibrant, and adaptable. [34:40] A sign of a good culture is when, if there is a position available, thousands of people are trying to apply. Quotable Quotes “Culture change is led at all levels.” “It doesn’t matter where you are, you can start to shape the culture in your organization. You don’t have to wait for it to be instigated from the top.” “It’s not so much about empowering your employees, but about framing the goal and not co-creating the pattern where change is someone else’s responsibility.” “Can you measure culture? No, you can’t measure the patterns of the culture, but you can measure the impact it has.” “If you do change right, your part of the business will start to navigate its way through this crisis.” “Ultimately, culture is in service. Culture is not in competition with strategy. Culture enables strategy.” Resources Mentioned Siobhan’s website & book: The Leadership Podcast is Sponsored by: Cultivate Grit. Amplify Action. Click to learn more. Free downloads of on Delegation, Time Management, Sales, and more.