The 3D Parent Podcast

DESCRIPTION:Do anxiety, fears and phobias just fade away with time? Hey there, fantastic parents and caregivers! 🌟 In this episode, we'll be chatting with an expert who's not just talking the talk but walking the walk in the world of fears, phobias, and anxiety, Cai Graham. An International Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Family Anxiety Support Specialist, is on a mission to empower teens and young adults to live happier, more confident lives using her background as Master Practitioner in Coaching and NLP & Timeline Therapy. “With a deep understanding of the unique struggles faced by teens and young adults, I offer expertise in various areas related to adolescent anxiety. From understanding and managing anxiety to building resilience and promoting self-care, I am equipped to address a range of topics that resonate with both teens and those who support them.”- Cai GrahamJoin us for a chat as we: 💬 Go through Cai’s personal journey that led her to become a trusted expert in supporting teens, young adults, and their parents.💬 Drawing from her expertise and experiences, she'll share practical strategies for parents to support their kids dealing with fears and phobias, giving them the tools to handle emotions and build resilience. 💬 Plus, she spills the beans on communication tips to connect with anxious kids and create a supportive home environment. Listen now to this empowering episode and equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to support your teens and young adults as they conquer their fears and phobias. Take the first step towards building a mentally healthier future for your children!CONNECT WITH THE 3D PARENT:

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Podcast: The Parent and Teen Toolbox The Parent Toolbox Podcast - Cai Graham

Website : Home - Cai Graham

Email : [email protected]

Anxiety Workbook : Fearless & Free : A Step-by-Step Blueprint to Help Teens & Young Adults Conquer Anxiety

Facebook : www.facebook.com/thecaigraham

Instagram : www.instagtam.com/caigraham

SHOWNOTES:
Hello, wonderful listeners! I'm thrilled to have you join us for episode 97 of the 3D Parent Podcast. Today, I am joined by a special guest, Cai Graham, an international speaker, a best-selling author, and a podcaster herself. Talk about a powerhouse! Cai is a family anxiety support specialist with a laser focus on supporting teens, young adults, and their parents. Her mission? To build a mentally healthier and happier generation of young people. With a background as a master practitioner in coaching, NLP, and timeline therapy, plus her hands-on experience with Childline, the UK's leading child counseling charity, Cai's got the perfect combo of skills. Her focus is on empowering her clients with the tools they need to take charge of their thoughts and emotions. Cai knows the unique struggles faced by teens, and she's here to share her expertise. From understanding and managing anxiety to building resilience and promoting self-care, she's equipped to tackle it all. I sat down with Cai on this episode to ask her about her take on Fears and Phobias in kids and how parents help them navigate the tough moments when they crop up and how to help children build a toolbox of coping strategies.
What are fears and phobias?

First off, I asked Cai: What's the deal with fears and phobias? Where do they come from? Are they just cousins of anxiety, or is there more to the story?

So, according to Cai, fears and phobias are indeed related to anxiety, but they're not the same. Fears, she explained, are our natural response to a perceived threat. Our unconscious mind, in its wisdom, is constantly on high alert, a leftover survival instinct from the days of dodging saber-toothed tigers. Now, that was a legit threat, and our unconscious mind kept us safe from it.

But here's the twist – for many folks dealing with anxiety, that alert system doesn't shut down. It's like our unconscious mind is stuck in a perpetual “danger mode.” So, even in a safe space, like a classroom, it's still on the lookout, “getting its knickers in a twist,” to quote Cai, over potential threats that don't actually exist.

Now, phobias, on the other hand, is anxiety taken to the extreme. They're irrational and totally disproportionate to the actual threat. Cai brought up a great example with spiders. Some people, she explained, absolutely lose it when faced with a big eight-legged ...

DESCRIPTION:

Welcome back to the continuation of our parent coaching session with Caitlin! If you missed part one, don't worry, you can catch up on episode number 94 where we delved into the challenges Caitlin is facing with her children.

In part one, we peeled back the layers to uncover what's driving the tension in Caitlin's household. We discussed how her oldest child's frustration and jealousy were manifesting in conflicts with his siblings, diving deep into the dynamics at play within the family unit.

Today, in part two, we're rolling up our sleeves and diving into solutions. From fostering individual connections with each child to effectively intervening in sibling squabbles, we'll tackle actionable steps to bring more harmony to Caitlin's family and yours.So, whether you're facing similar challenges or simply looking to enhance your parenting toolkit, I'm thrilled to have you here. So, without further ado, let's jump into part two of our parent coaching session!READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?

For 3D Parent Coaching Services:

• If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call.
• Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles.

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**JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group*SHOW NOTES: (For Full Show Notes, Links, and Episode Resources, Visit Episode Website)
Hey there, wonderful listeners! Thanks a ton for tuning in to Episode 94. I hope you've been enjoying the episode so far. Today's discussion dives deep into the world of sibling dynamics, exploring conflict resolution strategies and the art of repairing relationships. I recently had a fascinating conversation with Caitlin, where we unpacked various scenarios and effective approaches to fostering healthy sibling relationships. So, let's jump right in!Caitlin opened up about the sense of panic she feels when her kids are at odds with each other. It's a common experience for many parents. The urge to jump in and resolve the conflict immediately is strong, but often, our instincts lead us astray.

Instead, I introduced Caitlin to what I call the "3 Do's of Incident Management," a simple yet effective approach to handling sibling conflicts:

1. Do No Harm: The first step is for us, as parents, to ground ourselves and avoid reacting impulsively. This means taking a moment to breathe and remind ourselves not to escalate the situation. I suggest having a phrase like "do no harm" as a quick mantra to center ourselves in these moments.
2. Do Take Charge (of Circumstances): Rather than trying to control our kids' behaviors, which can often feel like herding cats, I advised Caitlin to focus on managing the circumstances surrounding the conflict. This might involve separating the children involved or removing the source of contention. By taking charge of the situation, we create space for everyone to cool down.
3. Do Circle Back Later: Once the immediate tension has subsided, it's essential to revisit the conflict with our kids. This is where the real work happens. We validate their feelings, encourage empathy, and work together to find solutions. By circling back later, we create an opportunity for repair and growth within the sibling relationship.

Guiding Children Through Repair:

Now, let's talk about how we guide our kids through the process of making amends after a fight. During the conversation with Caitlin, I emphasized the importance of first validating their feelings and encouraging empathy:

• Validate Feelings: It's crucial to acknowledge and validate the emotions of each child involved without judgment or blame. Do so in private with just one child at a time. Create a safe space for honest communication by letting them know that their feelings are valid and understood.
• Encourage Empathy: Next, we help our child see things from the other chi...

Parenting is a beautiful yet challenging journey, especially when faced with the complexities of raising unique and dynamic children. In this heartwarming episode, we dive into the world of emotional regulation through mindfulness with the incredible Aparna Venkatraman, the passionate founder of Beauty in Parenting. Aparna's mission with Beauty in Parenting is clear—to support families worldwide in fostering heart-centered connections. Drawing from her 20 years of experience, she guides parents through the intricacies of emotional regulation, offering insights that touch the soul. Parents, this is an episode you don't want to miss!

Some points we will discuss include:

• Mindfulness practices for emotional regulation in parents and children.
• Deep breathing techniques.
• Meditation techniques
• Family connection activities

We all get swept away sometimes. We lose our breath, our patience, our way. We yell, we cry, we wonder if we'll ever find our sanity again. But guess what? We're not alone. And within each of us, there's a wellspring of resilience, a reservoir of strength waiting to be tapped. On this episode, Aparna shows us the power of mindfulness–that quiet revolution that starts with a single inhale, a deliberate exhale.

Did you enjoy today's episode? If yes, share it with your fellow parents with "extra" kids! The more the merrier, right?

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Website: Beauty In Parenting - Coaching for Parents of Babies, Toddlers & Teens

Instagram: @‌beautyinparenting

Facebook: Beauty In Parenting

Free Self-Care & Priorities Chart (1-page pdf): Beauty In Parenting LLC

SHOWNOTES:

In this episode, I’m excited to welcome a special guest, Aparna Venkataraman. Having 20 years of experience connecting with 1000s of families in schools, children’s hospitals and non-profit organizations since her teens, Aparna Venkataraman is the founder of Beauty In Parenting and is a worldwide parent coach, meditation-breathwork teacher, motivational speaker and wellness advocate for doTerra essential oils. With her approachable nature, strong intuition and problem-solving skills, she guides parents of babies, toddlers and teens, couples and extended family to empower themselves and build healthy relationships with one another through effective communication, creating boundaries, self-care, confidence-building and lighthearted mindfulness techniques.

(03:28) Aparna's Story: I sit down with Aparna to hear more about her story and what led her to this work.

Aparna shares her intricate journey, starting from being a premature baby to grappling with childhood anxiety and depression due to emotional distance. Her studies in psychology and child development paved the way for impactful work with diverse groups, all while harboring a deep desire to support families. A pivotal year marked by loss, floods, and leaving a toxic relationship spurred Aparna to create "Beauty in Parenting," aiming to support families globally in finding heart-centered connections.

I can't help but resonate with Aparna's story, and I bet many of you can too. It's a beautiful blend of personal struggles and professional growth, highlighting the importance of emotional well-being in parenting.

(08:00) Exploring Aparna's Focus on Moms:

I asked Aparna what led her to specifically support moms. Aparna opens up about her personal journey, sharing a glimpse into her challenging relationship with her own mother during her upbringing. This connection, or rather, disconnection, played a pivotal role in shaping Aparna's perspective. As she delves into her experiences as a toddler teacher, she shares that she began to notice a pattern — the profound impact of parent-child relationships on a child's behavior, development, and stress levels.

The decision to focus on moms stemmed from a profound realization–the multifaceted role moms play in their children's development. She dives into the complexities, acknowledging the tendency for moms to prioritize others, often neglecting their own needs. The struggle to express these needs becomes a common thread among many moms.

(10:58) Aparna's Involvement on working with Dads: Now, you might be wondering if Aparna exclusively works with moms. Well, the...

DESCRIPTION: Ever find yourself caught in the tug-of-war between absolute love for your child and the occasional, “I'm finding it impossible to deal with my child right now," moment? If so, you're not alone! Join me on Episode #92: “"I Love My Child, But Sometimes I Can't Stand Him," where we're diving headfirst into the candid realities of parenting a more challenging child.

Join me as we unpack:

• Understanding the "why" behind your child's behavior
• Move past resentment and embrace acceptance, creating a foundation for a more positive parent-child dynamic.
• Practical tips to let go of comparisons and celebrate your child's unique personality and strengths.
• "Discipline with Dignity" techniques that promote cooperation and mutual respect

This episode is for you if:

• You feel like you're constantly on edge with your child.
• You struggle with shame, guilt, and self-doubt about your parenting skills.
• You wish you could connect with your challenging child on a deeper level.
• You're looking for practical tools to manage your child’s frustrating behaviors.

Remember, you're a loving, resilient, and capable parent doing your best. With the appropriate support, self-compassion, and a growth mindset, you can overcome any challenge and cultivate the loving, connected relationship with your child that you aspire to. Tune into Episode #92 for a fresh perspective and practical support.

SHOWNOTES: Ever find yourself grappling with conflicting emotions towards your child? It's an experience that many parents share but might hesitate to openly discuss. Challenging children often exhibit attitudes that can be tough to handle. When a child's demeanor is sweet, calm, and affectionate, it's easy to embrace them, but what about those moments when their attitudes provoke unexpected emotions?

How do you open yourself up to connect with a child who may seem a bit more challenging to understand?

I get it. I've been there too. In fact, I used to be wracked with guilt every time I had those fleeting thoughts of frustration or impatience. But here's the thing – those thoughts don't make you a bad parent. They make you human. And as a parent coach, I've heard it time after time from other parents wrestling with similar feelings.

Various factors that contribute to a complex child's behavior

• Vulnerability to Love--A Prickly Defense Mechanism: Sometimes, challenging children present rough, prickly exteriors because they find love and connection too vulnerable. It's uncomfortable for them to be lovable and endearing, often due to a highly sensitive temperament or past hurts. Understanding this vulnerability is crucial in fostering a compassionate approach.
• Subconscious Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Believing They Are Unlovable: In some cases, challenging children come to believe that they are unlovable. This belief becomes almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, influencing their behavior and interactions with others which are often annoying, off-putting, or even mean spirited. As a parent, it's essential to consider your role in this dynamic – do your actions unintentionally contribute to their negative self-perception?
• Building Inner Narratives--Seeds in Formative Years and the Impact of Words and Actions: For a young child, the formative years are crucial in shaping their self-worth and self-esteem. The comments and feedback they receive, both at home and in their broader environment, contribute to the narrative they internalize. Consider the phrases you use when frustrated: "I don't want to be around you when you act like this" or "Why are you always so negative?" The impact of these words goes beyond the moment, shaping your child's sense-of-self. Reflecting on the language used by caregivers, teachers, peers, and siblings is equally important.
• Parental Grief--Facing your Sadness and Disappointment: If you are struggling to connect with your complex child and feel yourself wishing your child was different than they are, you probably experience a lot of resentment and shame. I want to help you make a shift away from these difficult feelings. The first step is acknowledging and normalizing your own parental grief. You might have envisioned your child and your experience as a parent being very different than it currently is. This disappointment is difficult to face and likely fills you with equal parts of resentment and guilt. The first and most crucial step is to forgive yourself for the feelings of disconnection with your child and acknowledge that it's okay to experience this grief in parenting a complex child. Let's recognize the importance of allowing ourselves to feel the sadness associated with the cha...

DESCRIPTION:As a young parent, I was on a quest for answers, constantly seeking solutions to my child's behaviors. I believed that parenting was about applying techniques and strategies to mold my child's behavior. However, a pivotal moment came when I stumbled upon a quote by Dr. Gordon Neufeld: "Parenting is not about what you do with your child. It's about who you are to your child."

This quote sparked a profound shift in my perspective. I realized that effective parenting goes beyond mere actions; it's about embodying a powerful nurturing presence for our children. This realization led me to explore different parenting styles and to uncover the ideal dynamics in parent-child relationships.

In today's episode, we'll delve into the four main types of parenting styles, examining their strengths and limitations, and lay the groundwork for our exploration of what I have coined the Nurturing Alpha role as parent.

We will explore:

• Characteristics of the Nurturing Alpha Role: Identifying the key traits that define this parenting approach.
• Skills of a Nurturing Alpha Parent: Discovering the essential skills needed to embody the Nurturing Alpha role.
• How to Become a Nurturing Alpha: Practical steps and insights to help you cultivate this empowering presence as a parent.

Join me on this transformative journey towards becoming a Nurturing Alpha parent. Tune in to episode 104 of The 3D Parent Podcast and discover how you can embody the Nurturing Alpha role to cultivate deeper connections with your children and foster their emotional well-being.Do you have a highly sensitive child? Take the quiz to find out! https://www.the3dparent.com/quizREADY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?:

For 3D Parent Coaching Services:

• If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call.
• Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles.

CONNECT WITH ME:

• The 3D Parent on Instagram
• The 3D Parent on Facebook
• JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group

SHOWNOTES:

Let's rewind a bit to my own journey as a parent. Like many of you, I found myself lost in a sea of conflicting advice, wondering if there was a magic formula to navigate the challenges of raising children. I voraciously consumed parenting books, hoping to uncover the secrets to managing my child's behavior, but soon realized, I was missing the mark.

It wasn't about mastering the latest discipline technique or implementing rigid routines. Instead, it was about embodying a fundamental shift in perspective, one that Dr. Gordon Neufeld beautifully encapsulates: "Parenting is not about what you do with your child. It's about who you are to your child."

This quote struck a chord with me, prompting a profound shift in my approach to parenting. Rather than fixating on external strategies, I began to explore the essence of my role as a parent. Who did I need to be for my child in order to effectively lead, guide, influence, and teach her? How could I cultivate a relationship built on trust, understanding, and genuine connection?This realization marked a turning point in my journey. It propelled me to delve deeper into the realm of parenting styles, seeking not just a label but a true understanding of what it means to nurture and guide a child. And that's when I stumbled upon the familiar territory of authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful parenting styles.

Let's break them down, shall we?

• Authoritarian parents are all about strict rules and discipline, with little room for negotiation. It's all about obedience and punishment.
• Authoritative parents, on the other hand, blend rules with warmth and fairness. They prioritize open communication and positive relationships while enforcing boundaries.
• Permissive parents take a more hands-off approach, allowing the...