Matthew Harris, Former Cornerback, Northwestern University Football

09/19/19 • 53 min

Having experienced multiple concussions in his football career, Northwestern University cornerback Matthew Harris understood the risks he was taking returning to play. Following recovery from another severe concussion, Matthew knew he had some hard decisions to make regarding his future in football. As one of the top cornerbacks in the BIG10 and projected to be an NFL recruit, he made a personal decision to keep pushing towards his dreams and hoped to avoid further brain injury. Unfortunately, the next season he experienced yet another concussion, this one caused by just an average football play. Matthew knew the right decision for him was to discontinue competition due to brain health concerns.

Though confident in his decision, the reality was the emotional toll was significant. In this podcast discussion, Matthew opens up about his experience with identity loss, depression, anxiety, and his hidden battle with suicidal thoughts. He encourages struggling athletes to invest in their mental health in the same manner in which they trained for their physical health as an athlete. Listen to learn more about how Matthew came to train his thinking patterns away from a “deficit-based” mindset and into an “asset-based” mindset.

Matthew discusses the biggest regret he has in his transition out of football and the one thing he wishes he would have pushed himself to do in those months following the end of his football career. In this memorable interview, Matthew reveals the three things that freed him from his dark thoughts and literally saved his life. A don’t miss interview for any athlete struggling to find closure following an end to their sports career. This discussion also provides a sidelined athlete’s support network with useful insights into the psychological impact of a medically forced exit from sport.

Previous Episode

Chrissy Papetti, Former Performing Arts Athlete, University of Michigan

Following a severe labrum tear that derailed her dancing career in college, Chrissy Papetti spent the next several years working through an intense physical recovery on top of the emotional journey following the loss of her craft. Many athletes sidelined by injury experience an additional layer of complexity in their transitions forward - the physical rehabilitation to rebuild a normal quality of life. Walking around and exploring a new city, going on a daily run, or playing a pick-up game of ball with some friends can be problematic for sidelined athletes due to the residual pain caused by damage to their bodies from the injuries they have sustained.

Battling pain for years following her injury, Chrissy sought and tried every medical option on the market in an effort to regain her quality of life. Nothing worked and it seemed she was out of options. At her wits' end, she reluctantly explored an option which at first, seemed absurd - the mental side of pain management. By keeping an open mind, the research-based strategies she employed drastically altered the trajectory of her pain management journey and she now lives a normal life where pain no longer prevents her from living her life to the fullest.
Now an Occupational Therapist and Life/Mind Coach working with sidelined athletes and performers, Chrissy brings a full spectrum knowledge of the issues at play for individuals looking to rebuild after experiencing a medical exit from competition. In this interview, Chrissy speaks to the life transitions of sidelined dancers, discussing some of the unique aspects of their emotional recovery and explains how mindset work enabled her to regain control over the pain that for so long limited her quality of life.

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Jackie Allibone, Former Mid-Fielder, Temple University Lacrosse

Working through a significant injury with a long recovery process is difficult for any athlete. Hundreds of hours in rehab, sitting on the sidelines for months on end, feeling a measure of disconnection from teammates, coping with depression and both internal and external pressures to return to play ready to contribute to the win — all can take a significant emotional toll. When Jackie Allibone made her comeback from a torn ACL, only to face a second and more significant devastating knee injury, the psychological impact complicated as her athletic career was forced to an abrupt end.

In this candid interview, Jackie opens up about the internal turmoil that she worked so hard to suppress during those years. Hiding her internal struggles from her coaches, teammates and even family because she didn’t believe there was a safe place to talk openly about all she was processing resulted in unhealthy thinking patterns which would shape her feelings about her self-worth and impact her mental health for years to come.

This interview is a must-listen for anyone who has ever struggled with beating themselves up over internal conflicts, challenges with mental health, or loss of identity. There is hope and freedom when you finally release what is going on inside. The truth is, no matter how you’re feeling, you are not alone. The human experience can be complicated and we were never meant to bear our burdens on our own. Jackie’s story reveals how through acknowledging personal pain and addressing it by embracing help from others, we can begin a process of personal healing and growth.