Legal Grounds | Conversations on Life, Leadership & Law

When it comes to any sort of formal training, it’s easy for leaders to lose sight of the fact that there is an unavoidable power dynamic.

And as the person who ‘knows’ what they're doing, having to correct or explain what seems obvious is a recipe for frustration - no matter how good the leader.

But while getting frustrated is a natural emotion, for leaders there is the added complication of turning that difficult moment into a teachable one.

Or at least, that should be the goal

Unfortunately, when that power dynamic is forgotten, some observation or suggestion the leader may intend to be constructive can come off as judgment.

Now there are plenty of practical things we as leaders can do to make sure we’re helping people fail-forward, many of which we’ve talked about on this podcast.

Things like using an appropriate tone of voice, asking questions instead of declaring our opinions as fact, and of course, putting ourselves in the other person's shoes.

But as my guest today so wisely points out, when it comes to criticism versus judgment, oftentimes the only thing separating the two is Trust.

Does the person receiving the advice trust that it’s coming from someone who wants them to succeed?

And vice versa, does the person giving the advice trust that the person receiving it is in fact doing their best?

This is one of the many topics we tackle with this week’s guest.

Serban Mare is an Engineering Program Manager with 18 years of experience leading cross-functional teams in the semiconductor industry through multimillion-dollar projects.

He came to the United States from Romania at the age of 23 with $200 and within 10 years he had the red-brick house, a job he enjoyed, and a wife he loves.

But despite achieving the “American Dream,” Serban realized he craved deeper meaning and fulfillment.

Today we’ll discuss that journey; one which has led Serban to become a Professional Speaker, Certified CBT Practitioner, frequent podcast guest, and Life Coach who believes in continuously refining his communication and leadership skills to connect with diverse audiences effectively.

Enjoy the Show!

One of the best pieces of wisdom I ever received came from a judge talking to a defendant before his sentencing.

The judge looked at the man and said, “Sir, you have made a mistake, and you will pay for it. But do not let this mistake define who you are as a person.”

The only downside of receiving that advice was being the defendant the judge was addressing.

Owning a complicated past is never easy.

And every time I mention my own period in The Ditch there is still a small part of me that tenses up, that worries about what others may think or say behind closed doors.

But in the grand scheme of things, my troubles were a cake-walk compared to many of the guests on my show - and this week’s guest may break the mold.

Jay Barnard has been the Executive Chef at some of Canada’s best restaurants.

In 2015 he founded his own seafood agriculture company, FreshWater Cuisine, which would go on to win the Premier's Award for Agri-Food Innovation Excellence.

He has catered for celebrities and is a TEDx Speaker who continues to talk to audiences big and small about, what I will call, a path to redemption.

Because before all of those accolades, Jay would struggle out of a ditch that I think would bury most of us.

Struggling with addiction by the age of 12, at the age of 18 he was selling drugs to support his habits, and by the age of 21 he had his house raided by police and was charged and served time in prison.

Fast forward to 2021 and Jay is the founder of HYPE Recovery Coaching where he and his team use their combined experiences to help custom-tailor programs and solutions for clients overcoming addiction.

This conversation is raw, both in content and language, so probably best to put your headphones in.

Enjoy the show!

Addiction is one of those words that - whether consciously or unconsciously – causes most people to instantly conjure up a stock-image of a person at rock bottom due to drugs and alcohol.

Now, as we’ve discussed in previous episodes with both experts & those who’ve experienced it first-hand, addiction is nearly always a symptom of something deeper.

But one of the things that struck me in this week’s conversation was that while as a society we’re beginning to see through many of the cultural MYTHS we hold surrounding addiction, there may exist an even bigger problem: a fundamental understanding of what addiction actually is & how it can manifest itself in our lives.

My guest this week is Michael Molthan, a former drug addict and alcoholic who has dedicated his life to helping others on their path to recovery on his daily talk show, M2 The Rock.

Since 2017, Michael has been inspiring individuals to break free from life-shattering addictions and everyday obstacles, empowering them to embrace their true potential and live their best lives.

A sought-after speaker, Michael also helps run the M2 organization, a nonprofit that helps connect those struggling with addiction to resources, including Certified Recovery Coaches, Information and referrals, scholarships for intensive outpatient programs, as well as other resources.

We discuss why rock-bottom is often a plural, how finding freedom for ourselves can sometimes require freeing those around us, choosing true love as a form of tough love, and so much more.

Enjoy the show.

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SHOWNOTES

Michael’s Instagram

Michael’s LinkedIn

Michael’s Story (Video by IAMSECOND)

This week’s episode is just a little to the left of what we normally do here on Legal Grounds.

As a podcast that puts a lot of emphasis on Leadership, we spend a fair amount of time talking to our guests about those leaders who helped guide them in the early stages of life.

Now, to be sure, we’ve had plenty of guests who have endured trauma from their childhood that has shaped who they would become.

And plenty for who found themselves in the ditch later in life.

But imagine, if you can, living a life in which the first time you remember the feeling of being treated like a human being was while you were working at a wastewater treatment plant on prison-detail.

I don’t pose this question to throw a pity-party on behalf of my guest, but to highlight one of the major themes of this week: empathy vs. compassion.

And that’s because, believe it or not, it’s ok not to be able to empathize with people.

What’s more, when we understand where our ability to empathy ends, we can actually better serve those around us because we recognized the need for compassion, not comparison.

My guest this week is Jonathan York.

At 30 years old he found himself on the inside of a prison cell, divorced, and having lost his business and home.

Jonathan would serve 3 years, but as he puts it, prison was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Today he and his wife are the co-founders of Resionus Industrial Coating, a majority female and veteran owned company with decades of combined experience in industrial flooring needs.

And most recently, Johnather has begun The Relisent Man Project in an effort to share stories like his own, and show how faith and vulnerability is the key to continually moving forward.

I would encourage leaders of ANY role to listen to Jonathan’s story, if only to learn how leader’s that give second-chances can change lives.

Enjoy the show

“No matter what kind of law you practice, all of us should remember we’re civil-rights attorneys.”

Some may think this idea is a brush too broad to paint with, but as someone who has served clients on either side of the “vs.,” I couldn’t be in more agreement with this humanistic approach to the practice of law.

I’d love to take credit, but this insight is that of my guest this week, Brittany K. Barnett.

With a Masters in Finance, she began her professional life as an Associate Auditor for Pricewaterhouse Coopers before deciding to attend law-school at SMU.

She became an attorney.

Practiced at the corporate levels I know some of my law-clerks dream of.

But this is only one side of the coin.

It’s safe to say that Brittany is one of the leading advocates of clemency for federal prisoners convicted under the draconian drug-laws of the 80’s & 90’s.

She has secured freedom for more than 30 individuals – many facing life in prison for a first time non-violent offense, including clemency from both the previous & current administrations.

Brittany is also the author of the bestselling book, “A Knock At Midnight,” which the Washington Post called, “an engrossing memoir...both powerful & devastating.”
Oh... and she's gone on to found organizations like the Buried Alive Project & GEM, just to name a few of her initiatives.

It’s rare to have conversations that are both difficult & inspiring, but this is definitely one of them.

Enjoy the show.