Dear Santa: A Letter After IVF Failed

12/24/24 • 10 min

IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Merry Christmas to Those Who Celebrate

This week's episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast is here to guide you through the complexities of the holiday season, especially if you're navigating the challenges of being childless after infertility treatments. Christmas can be a beautiful season of nostalgia and tradition, but it can also bring unexpected emotions - grief, longing, and loneliness - if your journey to motherhood didn’t turn out as planned.

🎄 What You'll Learn in This Episode:

How to acknowledge and honor your experiences this year.
A unique and empowering exercise: writing a letter to Santa from your adult self.

The Letter to Santa Exercise Instead of writing a wish list, this letter is an opportunity to reflect on the strength, growth, and accomplishments you've achieved throughout the year. Acknowledge the challenges you’ve faced and celebrate how far you’ve come. Then, look ahead to your hopes for the future.

✨ Highlights of Lana’s Letter to Santa:

Recognizing the bravery to leave a corporate job and start a coaching career.
Embracing life without motherhood at its center and finding joy in new connections.
Asking for continued strength, self-compassion, and belief in a fulfilling future.

Now, it’s your turn. Grab a piece of paper or your journal and write your own letter to Santa. Let this be a moment of self-discovery, healing, and celebration.

Feeling Stuck? Book a Free Thrive Call If you’re unsure how to move forward or need guidance as you process the loss of a dream of motherhood, Lana invites you to schedule a free 45-minute Thrive Call. You can book your’s here. This is your chance to connect with someone who truly understands where you are and help you create a plan to move forward.

🎁 Lana’s Gift to You Download a free resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond. It’s perfect for navigating those tricky holiday conversations. Get your copy here!

Let’s Stay Connected Follow Lana on Instagram @lana.manikowski for more support and insights, and don’t forget to check your email for a replay of her recent masterclass, Handling the Holidays.

💖 As you navigate the holiday season, remember: You are seen. You are strong. And it’s never too late to discover your meaning.

Merry Christmas, and see you next week! 🌟

Merry Christmas to Those Who Celebrate

🎄 What You'll Learn in This Episode:

How to acknowledge and honor your experiences this year.
A unique and empowering exercise: writing a letter to Santa from your adult self.

✨ Highlights of Lana’s Letter to Santa:

Recognizing the bravery to leave a corporate job and start a coaching career.
Embracing life without motherhood at its center and finding joy in new connections.
Asking for continued strength, self-compassion, and belief in a fulfilling future.

Now, it’s your turn. Grab a piece of paper or your journal and write your own letter to Santa. Let this be a moment of self-discovery, healing, and celebration.

Let’s Stay Connected Follow Lana on Instagram @lana.manikowski for more support and insights, and don’t forget to check your email for a replay of her recent masterclass, Handling the Holidays.

💖 As you navigate the holiday season, remember: You are seen. You are strong. And it’s never too late to discover your meaning.

Merry Christmas, and see you next week! 🌟

Previous Episode

Infertile and Childless Around the Holidays

The holidays can feel especially heavy when you're childless after infertility and IVF. In this episode, I'm sharing heartfelt insights and practical strategies to help you navigate this season with grace, even when it feels like everything revolves around kids.

Whether you're grieving the loss of a dream of motherhood after fertility treatments failed you, feeling out of place at family gatherings, or looking for new ways to make the season meaningful, this episode is for you.

Join me as I offer support, validation, and actionable tips to help you honor your emotions, set boundaries, and create moments of joy that align with your life.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How to Honor Your Grief and Emotions: Why it's common to feel both sadness and joy this season, especially after navigating infertility and childlessness after IVF failed.
Setting Boundaries at Family Gatherings: How to protect your emotional well-being while showing up in a way that feels true to you.
Navigating Holiday Triggers: Managing the constant reminders of what you hoped life would look like, from social media to family traditions, and why it’s normal to feel the grief of being childless after infertility.
Creating Your Joyful Traditions: Ideas for new ways to celebrate that bring comfort and meaning to your holiday season when life without children looks different than you expected.
Why You’re Not Alone: Real stories of support and love, even when life looks different than you dreamed, and why community matters when you are childless not by choice.

Special Invitation:

Join my FREE Masterclass on Thursday, December 19th at 6 PM Central Time where we’ll dive deeper into handling the holidays without children. I’ll share more tools and ideas to help you feel prepared, connected, and at peace this season, even if you’re childless after infertility.

Key Moments:

[00:01:31] Healing and the love I received—even without kids, and how I am processing life after IVF.
[00:03:08] How the holidays highlight grief and bring up unexpected emotions for childless women after infertility.
[00:06:32] The truth about grief: it doesn’t disappear, but we can learn to carry it with us.
[00:07:25] Setting boundaries and permitting yourself to step back when needed.
[00:08:31] Ideas to create new, meaningful traditions that honor your experience as a woman without children.
[00:10:32] Holding two emotions at once: joy for others and grief for yourself.

Quotes to Inspire You:

“Your worth is not defined by whether or not you have children. Your presence matters deeply.”
“You can love your nieces and nephews while also grieving what hasn’t happened for you.”
“The holidays can feel heavy, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.”

Connect with Me:

YouTube: @lana.manikowski

Instagram: @lana.manikowski

TikTok: @lana.manikowski

Website: lanamanikowski.com

Resources Mentioned:

Register for the Free Masterclass: Handling the Holidays: Managing Your Family, Traditions, and Celebrations Without Kids
Free Resource: The Top 2️⃣7️⃣ Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond)

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who may need to hear this message. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review—it helps me reach more women navigating life after infertility and IVF who need to hear they are not alone.

You are seen. You are loved. And you are not alone.

Next Episode

Infertility and Creating a Fulfilling Future

Welcome to The So Now What? Podcast with Lana Manikowski. In this episode, we kick off the new year by exploring a life-changing question: How long are you willing to wait to believe that something is possible for you?

If you’ve left fertility treatments without the child you dreamed of—or if you’re feeling stuck in the aftermath of your infertility journey—this episode is for you.

You'll hear:

Why dreaming again can feel impossible after infertility and how to shift that mindset.
How to stop anchoring your future to the pain and disappointment of your past.
What it means to reconnect with the version of you that exists today—a childless, determined woman capable of creating new dreams.
The transformative question that helped Lana move forward and create a fulfilling, childless life.

Lana also introduces you to the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, a 12-week program designed to help you reconnect with who you are today and build a life that feels meaningful without the milestones of motherhood. If support groups leave you feeling stuck, this growth-oriented program could be what you need to start thriving.

🎯 Take the first step: Book a free, 45-minute Thrive Call with Lana to create a personalized plan for your next chapter. No strings attached.

🌟 Plus, don’t miss Lana’s free resource: "The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless—and How to Respond." Download it at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.

Your dreams are still possible, and your future can feel fulfilling again. Tune in to this episode to take the first step toward believing in what’s possible for you.

💌 Connect with Lana: