Here's Your Red Flag

Lisa details the escalating tension in her 7 year marriage with #2. Trigger warning: this episode contains instances of severe abuse, please listen with care.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave a 5 star review. You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook and Instagram.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Trigger warning: this episode contains instances of physical abuse that may be difficult for some listeners.

The episode begins with Toni providing some context of what it looked like on the outside of this cult of two between Lisa and #2. Lisa continues her story of what her life was like living with an abusive spouse. She details several instances of the accelerating psychological, emotional and physical abuse that she endured prior to becoming aware that she was, in fact, a victim of domestic abuse. She lays out for listeners why she stayed so long and how she found the courage and way out of that abusive relationship.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it!

You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Lisa wraps up her story about leaving an abusive marriage. The abuse was increasing in frequency and intensity making the marriage very unsafe. She mentions the benefits of contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline and how they assisted her in developing a safety plan and exit strategy. Upon informing #2 that she was divorcing him and wanted no further communication, he persisted in harassing and maybe even stalking her. This prompted her to obtain a protective order for her and her children’s safety. Though the road has been anything but easy, Lisa now lives a life of freedom from fear, control, and manipulation.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa pick up where they left off last week discussing the main buzzwords and concepts of narcissism and toxic relationships. This episode focuses first on buzzwords from the devalue and discard stages including the silent treatment, isolation, gaslighting, triangulation, flying monkeys, smear campaign, "hoovering" and other concepts. They briefly discuss the "cult of two" that exists in a narcissistic relationship. They also discuss the two key strategies of grey rock and no contact for surviving and existing with toxic people. They conclude with a conversation on the lack of closure after leaving a toxic relationship and how we can create our own closure.

Learning more about these concepts may help in the identification of red flags in potentially toxic relationships.

Episodes 6 and 7 are a great primer or refresher of these terms for listeners and us!

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

'I felt as if I was dead to her': The psychological cost of the silent treatment by Alia E. Dastagir https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/04/07/silent-treatment-how-its-defined-when-its-abuse-and-how-deal/9492221002/

Is Silent Treatment a Form of Abuse? Here’s What to Know by Kelly Burch https://www.verywellhealth.com/silent-treatment-abuse-5219934

Six Warning Signs of Isolation and Emotional Abuse https://www.therapycts.com/blog/2020/11/11/six-warning-signs-of-isolation-and-emotional-abuse

A Glossary Of Narcissistic Slang Terms https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/a-glossary-of-narcissistic-slang-terms/

50+ Crazy Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Say – Direct From Survivors https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/gaslighting-phrases/

Narcissism 101: A Glossary of Terms for Understanding the Madness https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/09/19/narcissism-101-a-glossary-of-terms-for-understanding-the-madness/

20 Narcissistic Terms: A Glossary Of Terms For Understanding Narcissism by Anne McCrea https://themindsjournal.com/twenty-common-terms-in-the-world-of-narcissism/

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Episode 6 begins with Toni and Lisa laying the foundation of narcissism and abuse by describing and discussing: the Four Main Needs of a Narcissist (Power, Control, Manipulation and Admiration), The Three Es of Narcissists (Empathy, Entitlement, and Exploitation), The Cycle of Abuse (Tension, Incident, Reconciliation, and Calm), The Dizzying Cycle of Narcissism (Idealize, Devalue, Discard and Hoovering), and an explanation of the Cluster B Personality Disorders.

They take a deep dive into the most common buzzwords and concepts of narcissism using personal examples in their discussion. Hopefully gaining a knowledge of these concepts will help in the identification of red flags in relationships.

This episode is a great primer or refresher of these terms for listeners and us!

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we are also on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by John Townsend, Henry Cloud, et al.

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope by Leslie Veronica

A Glossary Of Narcissistic Slang Terms

https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/a-glossary-of-narcissistic-slang-terms/

50+ Crazy Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Say – Direct From Survivors

https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/gaslighting-phrases/

Narcissism 101: A Glossary of Terms for Understanding the Madness

https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/09/19/narcissism-101-a-glossary-of-terms-for-understanding-the-madness/

20 Narcissistic Terms: A Glossary Of Terms For Understanding Narcissism by Anne McCrea

https://themindsjournal.com/twenty-common-terms-in-the-world-of-narcissism/