What Happens When Worries Get In The Way Of Your Dreams? [DTDB053]

Today we are talking about what happens when worries get in the way of our dreams. This one's for you if you have ever had a big dream, a challenge or a comfort zone stretch and you've found yourself secretly procrastinating, distracting yourself, being too busy or telling yourself stories that keep you up at 3am, wondering if you're good enough to make it happen. I'm going to explain why this happens and give you a super-simple antidote!

Tweetables: Resources:

• Dare to Dream Bigger - order your copy now - there's so much waiting for you in the book and in the readers' club to help you to clear your hidden fears and crank up your confidence!
• The EFT 'tapping' video course I mention: www.ClareJosa.com/EFT/
• Join us for The Big (Re)Read: www.ClareJosa.com/bigreread/
• Buy You Take Yourself With You: www.ClareJosa.com/youtakeyourselfwithyou/
• Get on the waiting list for the launch bonuses for First, Tell No Lies: www.ClareJosa.com/bigreread/

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Thank you! x Clare

Prefer to read, rather than listen?

This week I've had a potent reminder of what happens when fear gets in the way of our dreams. It doesn't matter whether those dreams are changing the world or passing exams or learning to parachute or saying hello to Mums at the school gate or introducing yourself at a networking event or giving a presentation or saying yes to a comfort-zone-stretching opportunity: fear is the biggest killer of hopes and dreams. My main objective this week was to finish the final edits for my new novel - First, Tell No Lies - to get the proof-reading changes done and to work with the cover designer to finish the graphics. I haven't touched the project. Instead, I've been a workaholic, barely pausing to breathe, let alone eat, grumpy with my kids, suddenly deciding I had to set up a whole different project which, frankly, could have waited. I've done 14 hour days, I've taught masterclasses, I've worked with clients, I've got my new author website up and running (it's looking great, even if I'm biased), I've worked on my media kit and I've been active in the EU VAT Action Campaign again, working with people to mitigate the impact of Brexit on UK microbusinesses. I'm even in fresh discussions on setting up the UK online business association, for which I had a meeting with the UK's Small Business Minster back in May. But I haven't once opened my laptop to edit my book. Why? Well, I've been too busy, haven't I? No. Most of that could have waited. The truth is that I have been scared. Scared to finish my new novel. Despite my editor loving it. Despite my proof-reader loving it. If I don't finish it, I can't publish it, so I won't risk readers not liking it. I felt scared they might think it's boring. In case it's badly written. In case they leave bad reviews. In case it's not good enough. In case I'm not good enough. (This stuff always comes down to identity-level fears, which is why 'mindset' approaches can feel like sticky plasters). The fact that book one - You Take Yourself With You - has been described by so many readers as 'unputdownable' actually makes it worse. Those reviews were a dream-come-true for me. But it adds in a new batch of fears: Can I do it again? What if I let them down and they're too polite to tell me they're disappointed? What if the trolls aren't quite so polite? Fifteen years ago, back when I was studying to become an NLP Trainer, I spent a lot of time reading the work of Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnosis. One of the stories told about him was of working with an Olympic shooting team. They had to fire twenty shots as perfectly as possible, hitting the middle of the target. They could all do it, but once they had hit sixteen, seventeen, eighteen perfect shots, the pressure got to much and they would flunk it. He trained them to see each shot as a single event, unconnected to the others, so that the subconscious expectations didn't create fears that sabotaged their performance. And they won the medals. It's the same with anything we're secretly scared of. "Oh, my last presentation was great, but I'm bound to mess up this one. There's no way I could do that again." "Sure, the last three exams were good, but I can't keep up that track record. This one is bound to be awful." "My last two clients loved my work, but there's no way I can keep up that winning streak. I'm bound to fail soon." I have a friend who was a midwife and she even quit her career over this, having helped at 2,000 births of healthy babies and being constantly scared that she was 'due' the one that would go wrong. She couldn't handle t...