Crystal Paine Show

Recently, I was scrolling on my phone and came across the social media account of someone I used to follow years ago. They are in a similar niche as me and back when I followed them, they had a lot fewer followers than me.

But in the last few years, their account has clearly blown up and they had hundreds of thousands more followers than me. Plus, as I was scrolling through their account, I saw that they had super high engagement numbers and interaction.

Instead of being immediately excited for them, I confess I started thinking about how I’m really dropping the ball in being strategic and creative in what I’m posting & that I need to step up my game so I can be growing more online and seeing more engagement like this other person.

And then it hit me: God has called me to be building into and growing other things the past few years — my home, growing as a person, nurturing and loving on the people in my home (and even growing tiny humans!)

I might not have seen a huge increase in followers the past few years, but I’ve spent hours and hours rocking little babies and speaking life to them... and that is very important work.

I might not have seen the crazy engagement numbers that other people have, but I’ve spent the last few years building deep relationships with my older kids and loving two birth mamas and their babies... and that is very important work.

The work that God has called me to right now might not be measurable in numbers that society and experts would consider important (such as accolades, income, awards, product sales, follower count, etc.)... but it matters far more than any of those measurable numbers.

No matter what we’re doing (or not doing), it’s easy to look around and compare our lives to others.

But God hasn’t called you or me to her life. He’s called us to our life.

We’re not supposed to do what she’s doing. We’re called to be faithful where God has us — even if no one sees or notices or thanks us. He sees. He notices. That’s what matters.

All the awards and applause and accolades, all the numbers and name recognition, all the income and opportunities in the world... they don’t hold a candle to faithfulness.

In this episode, we also share about books we're reading, a Spotify playlist I've been loving, and a meal-service we've been loving.

In This Episode

[00:34] - Welcome to another episode of The Crystal Paine Show.

[01:15] - We talk about books we're reading and one I recently read that I just don't know what I think of it.

[06:44] - A Spotify playlist I recently put together with Truths to Remember.

[09:30] - Switching to Spotify and listening to podcasts has freed up a lot of Jesse’s phone space.

[10:17] - Jesse shares about a meal service he's been enjoying.

[16:13] - My experience with comparison.

[17:58] - I should have been excited and celebrating this person's success, instead I went to a negative space.

[20:43] - It was just such a reminder to me that no matter what we're doing, or not doing, it’s easy to look around and compare our lives to others.

[22:30] - A seemingly small thing done in love, faithfulness, and consistency -- it's not small!

Links & Resources

• Books
• The Woman They Could Not Silence: One Woman, Her Incredible Fight For Freedom, and the Men Who Tried to Make Her Disappear by Kate Moore
• The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore
• Total Power by Vince Flynn
• Special Mentions
• Truths to Remember, Spotify Playlist
• Eat to Evolve, meal plans (use coupon code MSM to save 20% off your first order)
• Libby/Overdrive, free public library app
• Other Links
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me t...

I recently shared a little bit about prayer on Instagram in answer to a woman's question about praying to change her husband. I got so many responses from what I shared and many followup questions, that I wanted to focus this podcast episode on that topic.

First off, I think we often have a false sense of what prayer is. It's not about bringing our laundry list of things we want changed and fixed to God; it's about a relationship with Him. It's about releasing our desire to control and micromanage life and give it to our Heavenly Father and entrusting our struggles and stresses to Him.

Ultimately, prayer isn't about changing and fixing other people or situations; it's about changing us. I love this quote by Mark Batterson (above) that I recently read in his book, Win The Day.

In this week's podcast episode, we dive more into what prayer is, what it looks like, and why your prayers might not be getting answered (or maybe they are, but you just don't realize it!).

In addition, Jesse and I update you on his anniversary gift that finally arrived, I share two things that are saving my life, we talk about caffeine and teens, and I share about a book I recently finished reading with Kierstyn.

In This Episode

[00:34] - Welcome to another episode of The Crystal Paine Show.

[00:48] - Jesse and I talk about decaf coffee and caffeine... and teens!

[02:34] - I introduce today’s topic: prayer.

[03:03] - The thing that everyone is asking about: did Jesse get his anniversary gift?

[04:05] - I share how peanut butter and jelly is saving my life.

[06:57] - We're loving the Water Wow books by Melissa and Doug!

[08:31] - I have a book update for the young kids.

[10:54] - This week's podcast sponsor: Twigby!

[12:48] - Let’s talk about prayer and what inspired this topic.

[13:38] - I don’t believe the purpose of prayer is about changing our circumstances or changing people in our life.

[14:44] - We think of answered prayer as in “we got the thing that we wanted, we got the outcome that we wanted”. But "no" or "wait", is also an answer.

[15:29] - I read a quote from the book Win the Day by Mark Batterson.

[18:31] - I have really been convicted about how I pray for other people.

[20:00] - Sometimes God doesn’t answer the prayer in the way we want Him to because He has plans for us years and years down the road.

[21:10] - Why are we praying what we’re praying? So often when I pray now, I am not praying for an end result. I am praying for right here and now.

[23:58] - Prayer is one side of a two-sided conversation. View it as a conversation and this can change the way you approach it.

Links & Resources

• Books
• Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
• Win The Day by Mark Batterson
• Special Mentions
• Pun Intended Too!
• Water Wow books by Melissa and Doug
• Other Links
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Sponsor Spotlight: Twigby

Do you wish you could pay less for your phone service? Wishing you could figure out how to g...

One of the kids woke up really frustrated recently. In all honesty, I wanted to respond back in frustration... because it felt like a really “silly” thing for them to be upset by.

But if I’ve learned anything in over 17 years of mothering, it’s this: responding in frustrating to a child who is frustrated never ends well. Just trust me on this.

So instead, I took a deep breath, leaned on the Holy Spirit, and asked them to share what was wrong.

They had a lot to vent out right then & I purposely just listened. I wanted to try to come up with some quick fixes or solutions, but I could tell that’s not what they needed. They just needed a listening ear that said: “I care. You are valued. What matters to you, matters to me.”

After they had poured out their big feelings, I asked how I could help. There wasn’t much I could do, but I could tell that just that simple question brought some relief to them. It communicated that they weren’t alone. That I was *with* them. That they didn’t have to shoulder this all on their own.

And then I asked them what they could do about it. Instead of me trying to swoop in and fix things, I wanted to let them process through what they were feeling and come up with next steps.

We didn’t tie everything up with a neat bow, but my posture of leaning in and loving and seeking to walk beside de-escalated the situation so that by the time they walked out the door to leave for school, they were feeling much calmer and less stressed.

Mamas: we set the tone for our home. We can’t fix all our kids’ struggles. We can’t solve all our kids’ problems, but we can walk with them. We can communicate to them, “I’m here. I love you. I’m FOR you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

There might need to be some hard conversations or consequences or addressing heart issues in days to come — after a child/teen is in a better headspace — but in the moment when our kids are feeling overwhelmed & frustrated, they just need to know we are there. They don’t need our lectures; they just need our presence.

“What’s wrong?” “How can I help?” These two questions and the willingness to listen well can make a huge difference in our relationship with our kids.

In this episode, Jesse and I share more about how to respond when our kids (or anyone in our life!) is frustrated. Plus, I share a crazy travel story from my recent trip, and we talk about books and reading.

In This Episode

[00:34] - Welcome to another episode of The Crystal Paine Show.

[01:15] - What to do when your child is frustrated.

[02:00] - I have a travel "horror" story to share today.

[04:02] - While I was stuck in Charlotte for four hours, my phone was starting to run out of battery.

[07:46] - Word to the wise: if there is wet carpet in the airport don’t assume that it’s water spilled.

[08:41] - What I recently finished listening to.

[09:57] - A letter from a listener about Jesse’s advice on reading.

[12:05] - Are you making progress over who you were yesterday?

[12:35] - Jesse shares his book update.

[13:49] - How to help a child who is frustrated...

[16:02] - Ever been frustrated at someone for being frustrated (oh! the irony!)

[17:52] - Instead, stepping back and asking for God’s help

[19:13] - Question #1: “What is wrong?”

[21:23] - Question #2: “How can I help you?”

[22:39] - Question #3: “What can you do about it?”

[23:53] - Practice the art of asking questions versus telling someone how they should feel or respond.

Links & Resources

• Books
• The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers
• Other Links
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com