Feeling Minnesota

Explicit content warning

03/17/20 • 110 min

Coming to you from an undisclosed bunker, bug out bags stocked, armed and ready. The show must go on! Content dispatch episode 29 "Feeling Minnesota" (1996) by director Steve Baigelman. It certainly feels like the product of a young mind; all the preoccupation with sex and criminality is there, violence as punctuation mark. What this film DOES have is a stacked cast who --most of them--manage to squeeze some drama and pathos from this script. Freddie (Cameron Diaz) is being forced by crime boss Red (Delroy Lindo) to marry his crooked bookkeeper Sam Clayton (Vincent D'Onofrio), until Clayton's brother Jjaks (Keanu Reeves) shows up. Freddie and Jjaks immediately fuck at the wedding and run off with Sam's money...the very money he stole from Red in order to force the marriage with Freddie! Yikes! What ensues is a comedy of errors and needless violence. Look, it's not great, but D'Onofrio is a national treasure and what else is your quarantined ass gonna do to pass the time?

Previous Episode

Chain Reaction

We break our deafening silence with "Chain Reaction" (1996) by Andrew Davis. Eddie Kasalivich (Keanu) is an idealistic young scientist who finds a source of unlimited hydrogen energy by playing music to water or something. Unfortunately Eddie and his team are secretly funded by the deep state and it's chosen representative, the coldly pragmatic Paul Shannon (Morgan Freeman), who wants this revolutionary tech for himself and those he works for. What ensues is a real meat-and-potatoes chase thriller in which Keanu and Rachel Weisz are the loose ends everyone wants dead. It's dumb. It's expensive. Enjoy the episode and go watch "The Fugitive".

Next Episode

The Last Time I Committed Suicide

"The Last Time I Committed Suicide" (1997) by Stephen Kay. This one's about Neal Cassady (played by Thomas Jane), muse of the beat writers, amphetamine popping driver of The Merry Pranksters, during maybe the most boring part of his life, rendered duller still by being treated so reverently. A young Neal is listless and dissatisfied in small-town Colorado, working at a tire factory and trying to suss out life's mysteries. These mainly consist of what type of girl is better to have sex with: The suicidal brunette Joan (Claire Forlani) or bubbly blond nympho Mary (Gretchen Mol), ultimately choosing neither. Adrian Brody appears as Neal's friend and Allen Ginsberg analog Ben. Our dude Keanu (who put on weight for the role!) is the believably sleazy barfly Harry. The whole movie is based on a letter between Cassady and Kerouac, and that feels about right since this is meagre fare. Almost like something written by someone on speed in their twenties and translated to a feature film.