Bleeding Daylight

When she was just seven years old, Amy Watson's mother left her in the care of two notorious serial killers. She spent several years in a children’s home and later her abusive husband tried to kill her. Amy has faced unimaginable trauma but her story is also one of healing and forgiveness.

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(Transcript is a guide only and may not be 100% correct.)

Emily Olsen

Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick out the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.

Rodney Olsen

Thanks for listening today. Please share this episode and don't forget to connect with Bleeding Daylight on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. When she was just seven years old, her mother left her in the care of two notorious serial killers. She spent several years in a children's home and later, her abusive husband tried to kill her. Today's guest has faced unimaginable trauma, but his story is also one of healing and forgiveness. This episode is confronting at times but it also offers hope, and is a story of light that shatters the darkness. Amy Watson is a blogger, author and podcaster. She holds a degree in biology, a master's degree in business administration and has enjoyed success as an entrepreneur, as well as an educator. Amy hosts the podcast Wednesdays with Watson, where she's not afraid to tackle some big issues with her guests. She's also sharing deeply about her own story. We'll get to hear some of that story today. Amy, thank you for joining us on Bleeding Daylight.

Amy Watson

Thank you, Rodney. I am so excited. I so am a fan of your podcast and what you do and more importantly, your message.

Rodney Olsen

Thank you very much. I'm keen to find out more about your very early years, you certainly didn't have a usual childhood. Tell me about growing up for you.

Amy Watson

Yeah, now I definitely did not have a usual childhood of though as most most trauma survivors will tell you. Of course, we didn't know that but I often tell people that I have been an adult for a long time. At the age of seven years old, I was placed into the care of two very well known serial killers here in the States. For those of your listeners here in the states will at least you know somewhat Gen Xers would would know the name Adam Walsh which is a young man who one of these serial killers kidnapped and killed. But my very first of seven abusers was another one of those serial killers. And so that's really one of my earliest memories is that first of seven abusers, and my mom basically let them babysit us and did what whatever she wanted to do and so she was absent for as long as I can remember, that is my earliest memory at seven years old. That's kind of how I got it got started in life, if you will. And so it's not been a not been a great go. Like I said that he was the first of seven, to, to sexually abused me over the course of seven years. At the age of 14, I was finally removed by the state of Florida and placed in a children's home. I tell people all the time. And I still would maintain that that those were the best years of my life, from age 14 to around 18. I was in a children's home. And that was one of the first places that I found unconditional love and safety. And so those seven years from that that first event that I mentioned to you. Fast forward to 14 years old, my mom basically abandoned me to marry abuser number seven. And so that is why I was removed from her care and so pretty rough go from from very, very, very early on, but also afforded some great opportunities that really kind of filled in some opportunity gaps that that somebody in my position could have had. I would definitely say that as non traditional, and it's beginnings for sure. You know, it was intense. And like I said, I feel like I've been an adult for for a very, very long time.

Rodney Olsen

And obviously we're wanting to know your story. But I'm wondering if you can take us back and tell us a bit of your mom's story. What was going on in her life, that she would put a child in danger like that? Did she have some sort of abuse growing up? Or what was her story?

Amy Watson

Yeah, you know, that's such a great question. And and one that one day I hope to get the full answer to. It's unfortunate. My mom was the daughter of a brigadier general and the army and if you google his name, he comes up he was a prominent general during World War One and World War Two Southern affluent family both of her...

Sandy Phillips Kirkham authored a book titled, Let Me Prey Upon You. It details how a youth pastor preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken, with a shattered faith, and the ultimate shame of being blamed and forced from the church she loved. It’s a story of sexual abuse which may be confronting for some people. It’s also a story of hope and healing.

Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/

Email: [email protected]

(Transcript is a guide only and may not be 100% correct.)

Emily Olsen

Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.

Rodney Olsen

Thank you for listening today. Once you’ve heard today’s episode please search for Bleeding Daylight on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, and please share this episode.

My guest today authored a book titled, Let Me Prey Upon You. It details how a youth pastor preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken, with a shattered faith, and the ultimate shame of being blamed and forced from the church she loved. It’s a story of sexual abuse which may be confronting for some people. It’s also a story of hope and healing.

Most of us have insecurities as we try to find our way in the world during our teenage years. Thankfully, many of us are able to find places of safety during that time and eventually we move past the awkwardness of growing up. But what do you do when one of those safe places turns out to be a place of betrayal? Sandy Phillips Kirkham was 16 when her world changed. Today we welcome her to Bleeding Daylight to tell her story. Sandy, thanks for your time.

Sandy Phillips Kirkham

Well, thank you for having me on. It's good to be here.

Rodney Olsen

Tell me what was life like before your trust was betrayed.

Sandy Phillips Kirkham

I was happy little teenage girl in the church. My only issue in my life at that point was that my parents were divorced and that had a very traumatic effect on me. I didn't see my dad very much growing up. Sometimes I had difficulty with my stepfather. It was just an insecure part of my life, having the divorce and missing my dad. I was very active in the church in my teenag years from the time I was about eight. My family did not attend church, but I was invited by a friend and I went every Sunday with them to church. I was baptized when I was 13 and I was very eager to lead my new Christian life. I loved being at church and serving God. It was a place that I found safety. It was a place that I found love and concern for my well being and it was just a place I loved. I was very active. I sang in the choir, I taught Sunday School, I led prayer breakfasts, I think it would be no exaggeration to say that if the doors were open, I was there. So that was kind of where I was when our church hired a new youth pastor.

Rodney Olsen

And this new youth pastor, I guess, as most youth pastors come along, and he's ready to shake up the world and that was probably his experience to of what happened at that church at the time.

Sandy Phillips Kirkham

Exactly. It was just after I turned 16 that they hired this new youth pastor and there was an unusual excitement among the adults about this new pastor coming to our church because they had heard of the growth and excitement he had created in his previous church. So they were looking forward to having this dynamic and energetic pastor on staff and really, within a very short time, there was a dramatic change in the youth group. There was a transformation from boring Sunday School lessons, they were replaced with interactive skits, there was guitar music, youth night was added. And the attendance just started to explode. Kids from all over the city were coming to our youth group because of this new cool youth pastor and he really was different in a lot of ways. And while he was close in age to our former pastor, he dressed younger, his hair was longer. He knew our music. He drove a convertible, I guess if you would say in the 70s vernacular, he was hip. When he came to our church, everyone wanted to be a part of this new change, and no one wanted to miss out. He was really like a rock star. So you know, if he asked you to do something, you didn't just do it because you felt like you should, you felt honored to be in his inner circle, so to speak. So it was very a unique time in our in our church and even his sermons were like anything we never heard before. So again, I think that his persona and his charismatic personality really created an atmosphere in our church that we had never seen before.

Rodney Olsen

And so you...

Melinda Tankard Reist founded Collective Shout ten years ago, a grassroots campaigns movement for a world free of sexploitation in all its forms. She's an author, speaker, media commentator, blogger and advocate for women and girls. She's best known for her work addressing sexualization, objectification, harms of pornography, sexual exploitation, trafficking, and violence against women.

Melinda Tankard Reist Website: https://melindatankardreist.com/

Collective Shout Website: https://www.collectiveshout.org/

Collective Shout Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/collectiveshout

Collective Shout Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/collective.shout/

(Transcript is a guide only and may not be 100% correct.)

Emily Olsen

Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.

Rodney Olsen

I need to warn you that today’s episode of Bleeding Daylight may be confronting at times, but it focusses on issues that affect us all. They’re also issues that give each one of us opportunity to shine light into some very dark places and to make our world more compassionate with greater respect and equality for all.

My guest founded Collective Shout ten years ago, a grassroots campaigns movement for a world free of sexploitation in all its forms. This is an episode that should be heard by many, especially parents. I encourage you to share it widely so that we can all take action to draw closer to the kind of world we long to see.

Constant abuse and even death threats have become common occurrences for Melinda Tankard Reist. Those reactions only serve to highlight the seriousness of the topics that she raises in our society. She's an author, speaker, media commentator, blogger and advocate for women and girls. She's best known for her work addressing sexualization, objectification, harms of pornography, sexual exploitation, trafficking, and violence against women. I'm so pleased to have her joining me on bleeding daylight. Melinda, thank you so much for your time.

Melinda Tankard Reist

Thanks for having me. Thanks for your interest.

Rodney Olsen

I'm interested in knowing where your passion for standing against this kind of exploitation actually began.

Melinda Tankard Reist

Look, it probably began in my hometown growing up in a country town in Victoria and I started to see the mistreatment of women in my community. I became a journalist from the age of 16 and began to document some of that mistreatment. One of the first pieces I ever wrote was about the opening of a women's refuge in my town for victims of violence. I also noticed that mistreatment of Indigenous women and migrant women. I was then awarded a scholarship to study journalism in the US and that I ended up traveling globally and witnessed for myself the second class status of women around the world, returned to Australia and continue to document issues affecting women and girls, that I wrote my book Getting Real: Challenging the sexualisation of girls, and that's really where this work took off. And I was asked look where's the grassroots movement against everything you've described, and that's how Collective Shout came about 10 years ago.

Rodney Olsen

It's interesting that there are a number of issues that you're looking at there, that are just obvious that these are harming but I think a lot of what you call to the surface are those things that just go past us without us recognising what's going on. What are some of the themes that you think that most people don't understand are harmful to women?

Melinda Tankard Reist

I'm really glad you've asked me this, Rodney, because I've always believed that I was meant to document issues that were going under the radar. I've written six books now. And I felt led I suppose to expose things that were harmful in the hope that we might wake up and do something about those things. So the epidemic of violence against women globally, if you look at female genital mutilation, bride burning, dowry deaths, if you look at trafficking in the bodies of women and girls into the global sex industry, if you will. With the fact that girls globally are more often denied education and and kept in a very controlled and submissive environment, the way that pornography is shaping and molding attitudes and behaviors, that teaches boys that they have a sense of entitlement to the bodies of women and girls and teaches girls that they exist primarily for male sexual gratification and pleasure. And that's my main focus at present is exposing how we are warping the sexuality of an entire generation, how we are contributing to violence and brutality and sexual cruelty,. callousness, in what we are presenting as normal sex, and this is stuff starting earlier and earlier. So yeah, I've just felt that I'...

Many of us face difficulties, but how do you hold out hope when life continues to push you back down, leaving you broken? Shea Watson has seen some of the worst that life can bring. From times of brokenness and not being able to see any hope at all, he's now able to offer lasting hope to others, a hope that transcends it all.

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Email Shea Watson: [email protected] or [email protected]

(Transcript is a guide only and may not be 100% correct.)

Emily Olsen

Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.

Rodney Olsen

Welcome to a really inspiring episode of Bleeding Daylight. I’m so glad you’ve joined me.

Don’t forget to catch Bleeding Daylight on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and please consider leaving reviews wherever you listen to podcasts.

Many of us face difficulties, but how do you hold out hope when life continues to push you back down, leaving you broken? It took many years, but today’s guest finally found that hope.

My guest today has seen some of the worst that life can bring. From times of brokenness and not being able to see any hope at all, he's now able to offer lasting hope to others, a hope that transcends it all. He co-hosts The Pantry Podcast with his wife, Michelle. His name is Shea Watson, and I'm thrilled to be able to welcome him to Bleeding Daylight. Shea thank you for your time.

Shea Watson

Hey, Rodney. It's good to be on today. Man, I've been actually following you on Instagram, listening to your stories, listening to your podcasts. I love Bleeding Daylight episodes and how people have been broken, but then they come out of that darkness and then they get to experience something much better.

Rodney Olsen

Well, thank you and I'm really looking forward to delving into your story today. So let's start really early. Go back to the very early years of your life. How do you remember that early childhood?

Shea Watson

Wow, let's let's just be honest on that. Before 10 years old, I don't remember a whole lot and I think that's because of the traumatic experiences that I had gone through. I grew up In a broken home, divorced parents. Probably not the best timing on telling us about this. They actually broke the news on Christmas Day and that kind of set a tone on how things would end up going in our lives. My sister and I grew up so basically with our mother, and our father moved away. And so we kind of just grew up in that one mother home. And it kind of left my sister and I vulnerable as my mom tried to come to grips with the separation from my dad, you know, that led to some some things that really had an impact. You know, if I had a word or a couple words to say it was like, my mold became broken, my identity became cracked. I lost my innocence at 12 years old. My mom was dating and, you know, back in the 70s and 80s, late 70s 80s. The thought of child predators weren't really in the minds of people back then. It was some a concept that people just I don't know if they didn't want to grasp it or just I didn't understand it, but they would give me money these, these boyfriends would give me money to go into the video arcade. And that is where I met a man who manipulated me, took advantage of me and actually ended up molesting me on several occasions. From that, because I would continually go back I was looking for something I was looking for love. I was looking for attention. I was looking to be accepted. And you know, I never even told my parents what had happened. I just kept going back. That was a summer and then the school year started. And it kind of faded away. It was like a season. And I never told anyone about this too later in life,

Rodney Olsen

There must have been an enormous amount of shame within your own life. We know now that this obviously was not your fault, but did you feel that it was at that time? Did you feel guilt?

Shea Watson

Oh, absolutely. Rodney. It was a destroyer of what I would called my identity who I was, I blamed myself. I never even looked at the the person that did it as being at fault, I looked at myself as being the one to blame because I just kept going. I felt like it was my choice and that actually created identity issues within my own sexuality.

Rodney Olsen

I'm looking at all of that and thinking, the people that you should have been able to trust, the adults in your life, there's your parents, then there's the the men that come to visit with your mom and they just want you out of the picture. So they paying you to go off...

Dave Ebert is someone who has turned comedy from something that masked his own pain, into something that brings healing for others, including women released from sex trafficking. In this episode of Bleeding Daylight, we get to explore a little of the inner conflicts that Dave has faced over the years and the way that life is now so very different for him.

Gifts for Glory Ministries

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Well Versed Comedy - Improv Comedy Ministry

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(Transcript is a guide only and may not be 100% correct.)

Emily Olsen: Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.

Rodney Olsen: It's almost a cliche, the comedian who is secretly battling depression, the person who makes everyone else laugh, but who is fighting their own inner struggles. Dave Ebert has a passion for comedy, but the laughs haven't always been easy for him. Today, we get to explore a little of the inner conflicts that Dave has faced over the years and the way that life is now so very different for him. Dave, welcome to Bleeding Daylight.

Dave Ebert: I thank you so much. I'm absolutely thrilled to do my first international interview.

Rodney Olsen: Now I know that your main comedy discipline, if I can put it like that is improv. So does that mean I'm going to have to be on my guard today?

Dave Ebert: Well, I am one to always throw something out.

I'm the master of one-liner. So every time I see an opportunity, I swing, they're not always going to be home runs, but, you know, you can't, you can't get a home run if you don't swing.

Rodney Olsen: Absolutely. We're going to be talking about your comedy and a little while, and the amazing ways that you're using comedy to make a real difference for others.

But first, let's talk about some of those darker times. When did you really start to notice that what you were facing wasn't the normal ups and downs of life.

Dave Ebert: For most of high school, I really battled with trying to find my self worth and trying to find my place, and why was I here? And, my dad was, very sick for most of my childhood.

He had served in the Vietnam war for the, for America. And, unfortunately caught the side effects of agent orange, which I'm not sure if your audience would know about that, but that was a chemical that the Americans used during the Vietnam war in the sixties that, caused a lot of genetic damage to the soldiers that were onsite. When he comes back from the war he's healthy young man and then within 20 years, he's fully disabled. He's unable to do the things that a man his age at that point should have done. So he didn't know how to handle that. as a young man growing up, I didn't know how to handle that. So there's a lot of conflict with my father on top of the normal teenage things.

And then my junior year in high school, 11th grade, I, was pursuing this girl and. she broke my heart and that, that was the moment it went from the normal ups and downs in the battles that I felt myself really like cross into this new threshold, where it went into depression where I was constantly looking, ah, for some kind of way to ease the pain, some kind of way to lighten the darkness.

But it would just always hung there. I never went to get it diagnosed. but all the telltale signs were there. I was always the class clown. So now that I was into this full depression, that humor was coming out is a way to defend myself and prevent anybody from knowing what was going on inside.

Because not only was I feeling bad, I was feeling bad about feeling bad. I was feeling. Guilty for allowing myself to feel that much darkness and for somebody that hasn't been through it, maybe it doesn't make sense. A lot of people think well just snap out of it, go for a walk or do this or that. But when you get to that darkness, any motivation to do the self help, that's actually beneficial, all that motivation goes away and you're just there in this dark pit. I was contemplating suicide on a regular basis. It was literally a day by day thing. If I could justify myself, I can make my life seem valuable enough to live another day I would. And that's where the humor was coming in was if I made somebody's day a little bit brighter, I made somebody laugh a little bit, then I could justify, okay.

Maybe there...