62: Stop Judging How People Judge You

We've all taken those personality tests. Hell, we even talk about them on this podcast. But can these tests do more harm than good? Is your personality your authentic self? Or rather, is it that your personality (and your authenticity) can and SHOULD continually change? Erin sits down with Dr Benjamin Hardy, an organizational psychologist, to discuss everything from enneagrams, to trauma, to how envisioning your future self is critical to your growth. From humble beginnings and an unfortunate childhood situation, Ben is an organizational psychologist and bestselling author of Willpower Doesn't Work. His blogs have been read by over 100 million people and are featured on Forbes, Fortune, CNBC, Cheddar, Big Think, and many others. He is a regular contributor to Inc and Psychology Today and from 2015-2018, he was the #1 writer, in the world, on medium.com. He and his wife Lauren adopted three children through the foster system in February 2018 and, one month later, Lauren became pregnant with twins, who were born in December of 2018. They live on Orlando. Ben has gone on to become a best-selling author of one highly successful book, and working on two more, forged a career in organizational psychology, and started a family. Erin asks Ben what started him on the road to Organizational Psychology and they dive deep into the pitfalls of personality tests, such as enneagrams and Myers Briggs. Ben discusses the difference between identity and personality, and how they can shape, or be shaped, by behavior. He moves on to discuss how people view themselves, and how you can create a picture of your future self: how you want your future self to be, to make sure you don't become stuck in who you think you are now. You can find more information about Ben, his book, and his work here: Or you can buy his latest book, Personality Isn't Permanent here: If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration! Here are some options... Check out the b BRILLIANT career coaching program @ b Cause Podcast Facebook group @ We even sare more crazy stuff here (you probably thought that was impossible). Take our simple, fun and insightful "What Kind of Dog Are You At Work?" by going to We have so much fun stuff going on...we wouldn't want you to miss out - join the authenticity movement and our community by adding your email just about anywhere @ Check out our blog for more of our no-BS career advice @ We have fun and inspiring t-shirts @ DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments: "You are a positive deviant in how you challenge the norm." "My big problem with these tests is that they overemphasize a person's personality." "Your identity shapes your behavior. And over time, your behavior becomes your personality." "You might notice everything that fits your label, but you won't notice all the other things that don't fit your identity." "Research shows that your personality will change over time, whether you do anything about it or not." "You can always develop, but if you stick yourself in a category then you might not even try it." "Last week could have become a trauma if I'd been caught up in it. But I decided not to be defined by it." "Trauma, if unresolved, creates a fixed mindset." "You see yourself a certain way, but it's not objective. IT's not fact." "You're as sick as your secrets." "I have so many roles, and if I was the same person in each of those roles it wouldn't work." "Nothing good happens when you do a bonfire with old high school friends."